Are You Just The Best Listener? - 2018
The one we know oh so very well.
Do you feel like you are the person in your people’s lives who can really take in what they say and give great advice? The one who can hold the weight of other’s burdens or problems and manage it all?
We’ve got to be careful about the loss of sight. What I mean by the loss of sight is not being able to see ourselves. Such a frequency when we put our worth into helping others and adding value for others. It is dangerous, though, because it is truth: We cannot truly help others be better, until we’ve helped ourselves be our best.
I worked with a young lady recently, who was having a tough time with a change that was occurring. She had broken up (whatever that means in today’s generation) with the boy who she was with or who liked her or whatever. Apparently it was her choice to break off the more-than-friends relationship. Although, she wanted to be platonic friends with him while he still wanted the relationship they’d had before. There was a full group of friends associated with this and the boy began to purposefully edge the young lady out of the friend group.
The young lady spent her next hour crying. The hour turned to a day. The day turned to a portion of a week. I learned of it when she came and talked to me. I asked her some things like, “What made her a valuable human being? To pick two things.” She told me that it was her empathy for others situations, and it was her ability to help others and be an ear; to be a good listener. I then asked her to think about her physical appearance, and decide what word or a few words that she’d prefer to be called by herself, or her parents, or a boy she liked, or whoever. She asked if it could be something like her loyalty. I told her that it should be an adjective describing her physical appearance. She settled in on the word beautiful. I asked her to pick three things about herself that she’d describe as beautiful. After some pause, she picked two and couldn’t settle in on a third.
To me, it’s really important that we know what makes us valuable, because those things are the kickers that lead us to potential greatness. Not only in the area of physical appearance. Shoot, physical appearance is the least important in my opinion. It doesn’t top the list shared with mental attributes and emotional/conversational attributes. No other person should have the primary opinion on our value mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. If we invite someone else’s opinion in, it better be secondary or further down the list, and it better be a darn good opinion! So we shouldn’t lose sight.
We have to be able to see why we are worth it and build on that to become EVEN MORE WORTH IT. If a boy/girl wants to bail, allow him/her to bail. There are no tears necessary. It is their lost opportunity if you understand your value. If the other friends in the group appear to desert you, reach out to them and give them the opportunity to prove that appearance incorrect. Perhaps point the (your) value out to them. If they don’t see, push forward. Once we are rock solid in how we make ourselves closer to great, then we can and should begin to sprinkle assistance to others. However, do not sprinkle assistance to others, at the loss of yourself. Push yourself into the light, so that others can be pulled up to shine with you. Don’t spend your life pushing others into the light FIRST, if you are going to find yourself left in the dark.
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Chris P Austin
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